The Grace of Asking Why

 

The Grace of Asking Why

 

Exodus 3:1-15

God calls Moses 

 

3:1 Moses was keeping the flock of his father-in-law Jethro, the priest of Midian; he led his flock beyond the wilderness and came to mount Horeb, the mountain of God.

 

3:2 There the angel of the LORD appeared to him in a flame of fire out of a bush; he looked, and the bush was blazing, yet it was not consumed.

 

3:3 Then Moses said, "I must turn aside and look at this great sight and see why the bush is not burned up."

 

3:4 When the LORD saw that he had turned aside to see, God called to him out of the bush, "Moses, Moses!" And he said, "Here I am."

 

3:5 Then he said, "Come no closer! Remove the sandals from your feet, for the place on which you are standing is holy ground."

 

3:6 He said further, "I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob." And Moses hid his face, for he was afraid to look at God.

 

3:7 Then the LORD said, "I have observed the misery of my people who are in Egypt; I have heard their cry on account of their taskmasters. Indeed, I know their sufferings,

 

3:8 and I have come down to deliver them from the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land to a good and spacious land, to a land flowing with milk and honey, to the country of the Canaanites, the Hittites, the Amorites, the Perizzites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites.

 

3:9 The cry of the Israelites has now come to me; I have also seen how the Egyptians oppress them.

 

3:10 Now go, I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people, the Israelites, out of Egypt."

 

3:11 But Moses said to God, "Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?"

 

3:12 He said, "I will be with you; and this shall be the sign for you that it is I who sent you: when you have brought the people out of Egypt, you shall serve God on this mountain."

 

3:13 But Moses said to God, "If I come to the Israelites and say to them, 'The God of your ancestors has sent me to you,' and they ask me, 'What is his name?' what shall I say to them?"

 

3:14 God said to Moses, "I AM WHO I AM." He said further, "Thus you shall say to the Israelites, 'I AM has sent me to you.'"

 

3:15 God also said to Moses, "Thus you shall say to the Israelites, 'The LORD, the God of your ancestors, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, has sent me to you': This is my name forever, and this my title for all generations.

 

I was always a “science-minded” kid. When I asked “Why?”, it was a legitimate question, not just a childish stall or a kid’s parent-provoking jab. I have always been one to want to know why stuff happened, didn’t happen, or what happened when it did. My habitual question “Why?” led to a life-long series of questions about life, the universe, and everything. I still like to question the “unquestionable” things about the Bible, faith, and the Divine; I still like to spend clear evenings out with my telescopes wondering the great “whys” of the universe; and I will always question the things that many others believe are either immutable or one-and-done, never to be duplicated. On one of my brother’s daily “Super Sunday School Spectacular, Plus One“ posts, I wrote this of God’s unpredictable "miracles” into the human world: “A Quantum God intervening in a world that refuses to see itself as anything but binary.” I thought that about as close to brilliant as li’l ol’ me gets, but I do believe it to be the truth. We can never quit asking “Why?” in a universe created by the same deity who gave us quantum physics. 

 

The second thing the life-long “Why” question gave me was a curiosity that is never satisfied. As a youth, I tried to apply the basic principles of science to my quest, but as my grade level advanced, and my command of higher mathematics didn’t go along for the ride, I soon realized that my “Why?” quest would have to be limited to the world of cerebral pondering, voracious reading about my questions, and then my advancing ability to write about what answers I had uncovered, either in the work of others, or reasoned through a decent degree of critical thinking, on my part. I am happy to say that, after just completing my 72^nd trip around the Sun, I am no less curious than I was as a kid with an “inquiring mind.” Honestly, I’m not all that bright, when I compare myself with the true and scholarly geniuses whose work I like to explore, but the breadth of my interest sure eclipses most of them. I am as curious about welding (hence I learned to do it) as I am music (I play a couple of instruments, badly, but I play), painting (I love to try out new ways of applying pigment to stuff), amateur astronomy, and, of course, there is my writing. Never being satisfied is the engine of curiosity, as are new observations of phenomenon that don’t “fit the rules.” Note, however, that a healthy curiosity, which keeps one searching for facts and real data, DOESN’T foster those bizarre conspiracy theories, chasing “UFOs,” or believing that all aliens, should they exist, are out to get us. Succumbing to these wacky temptations happens when an immature curiosity is coupled with non-critical thinking. We see examples of this happening all around us, currently well demonstrated in the federal government. Truly curious people who have been blessed to learn how to think critically, learn how to ask GOOD questions, and then more questions, and ones that don’t have to result in either easy or even “concrete” answers. In fact, some of the most productive questions work their magic far short of ever having an answer. (I like to call this “doing theology,” by the way.)

 

So, how do I get to all of this from an Exodus scripture passage? Your answer is found in verse 3, in the statement by Moses: "I must turn aside and look at this great sight and see why the bush is not burned up." Whether the bush actually talked doesn’t matter. It was Moses’ curiosity that caused him to “turn aside,” and that act wound up making all the difference for the Jewish people, world history, and eventually even the Christian faith. Moses got caught in a life-changing dose of curiosity, for which he refused to accept a simple explanation, and as we know, Yahweh didn’t give him one. The bush was a come-on; Moses signed on; and soon, the people of God moved on. It was truly a “Why?” made in heaven!

 

As Moses found out, and so have I, life is too short to not ask the “Why?” questions. There are those who cling to holy writ like it is a contract, of some sort, or a divine rule book penned to give them absolute answers to impossible questions. Maybe there is a reason the two sections of the Judeo-Christian scriptures are called “Testaments”? What we are reading are the experiences of folk who kept asking “Why?” and who weren’t hung up on black-and-white, “take it to the bank” kinds of answers. We believe in a God who doesn’t just TOLERATE our “Why?” questions, but who both embodies them AND encourages them (we call it “grace”), knowing full-well that in our endless curiosity, we are truly acting in the “image of God.” Remember: God is a QUANTUM God, not a linear God, or a “legal” God, and most certainly not a God who is imprisoned by a timeline, or even a “judgment day.” 

 

I have always said in my sermons that the best metaphor I can come up with to understand God’s relationship to humanity is the loving parent. Those of us blessed to be parents know full well that we NEVER, EVER stop loving our children, even if they fall prey to negative choices in life that may lead us to jerk them with “tough love,” or “cutting them off” for a season, fully immersed in a prayer that they will, like the Prodigal Son, “come to themselves” and find their own life-changing answers. And for those of us who have—thankfully—not had to engage in “tough love,” we just never stop loving our “kids,” praying and hoping for the best for them, and for their safety. I have two successful (what this means is another whole series of sermons and psychological unpacking, by the way) and “curious” adult children. When I look at both of them, in a single instance, I experience them as that tiny bundle I held in my arms moments after their birth, that wandering toddler who loved to touch stuff, that little child who was so interested in the world around her/him, the high school students who excelled in the fishbowl of public education, or in remembering both the ecstasy and the pain of packing them off to college. It only takes a few moments of this “time compression” of their history to eventually arrive at the reality of them in their forties, as responsible adults, parents, and curious explorers of life. Is this not EXACTLY what God is like? God sees us in the moment, but our whole history is visible to God in the same moment. Again, a Quantum God! (Maybe we are quantum parents, too!)

 

I’ve often wondered if, in eternity, the great prophet Moses has a photo of that bush on his study wall? His curiosity about why that bush was burning and yet not being consumed led him to confront pharaohs, part seas, and have a few mountain-side chats with God Almighty. I have a whole wall of such memorabilia in our home, each with a connection to some either life-changing experience or moment of elucidation that deepened my understanding of life, the universe, and everything beyond where I ever thought possible. These “talismans” keep my eyes connected to the experience. And they reignite my curiosity as to “Why?” each of these things actually happened to me. Was I worthy to have these experiences? No, but grace prevailed, and the Great Parent knew how formative each would be for the one whom the Great Parent loved. Friends, you need to see it like this. PLEASE don’t get trapped in the “God of the Rules” thing, or in the Great Lie that God will judge you for your mistakes. Fixing these errors in the human experience is PRECISELY why Jesus came to us! We had turned God’s love and grace into a religion, and were in danger of making God to be a smiting, punishing judge, instead of an ever-loving Great Parent who always…ALWAYS wants the best for God’s children. Moses’ life was redirected by his “asking why” and his curiosity about the bush, and God’s only begotten Son came to earth to rescue us from the human proclivity for drawing lines in the sand and excluding others by our rules. The Great Parent is a God of love and grace, not judgment and retribution. When you see judgment and retribution in the path on your “Mount Horebs” of life, DON’T ask why, just go in the opposite direction. When you do, you will walk right back into the loving arms of the Great Parent.

 

I’m sure Moses had his moments when he regretted checking on the bush. Israel didn’t make his leadership easy. Not all humans are blessed with a healthy “gift” of curiosity, or even the ability to have a critical thought without wanting to “smite” somebody. As we know from this story in the scriptures, even GOD had God’s moments of regret, when it came to preserving Israel. Moses, on more than one occasion, had to talk God out of wiping them out and “starting over.” This is something I like about the Bible’s views of deity: God gets frustrated, too, and even caves to the occasional irrational moment. If God gets so ticked, and yet returns to heroic acts of salvation, so we should have hope that we are not lost!

 

The moral of this story is: keep asking your questions, without worrying about getting “pat” answers. BE CURIOUS, as this is the stuff of life! Question God! God likes that, and will reward you with the embrace of grace, and a salvific sense of belonging. And in your own curiosity and “Why?” questioning, stop judging others as “sinners,” or in some way inferior to you own understanding of faith. After all, they are on their own journey, too. They may just not have stumbled upon the bush. Give them grace…and time. Amen!

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1WqGk78TWgOrKdd5MO_IibBWYzPrFgs70/view?usp=share_link

These Women

 

These Women…

 

Exodus 1:8-2:10

Pharaoh's daughter takes Moses in 

 

1:8 Now a new king arose over Egypt who did not know Joseph.

 

1:9 He said to his people, "Look, the Israelite people are more numerous and more powerful than we.

 

1:10 Come, let us deal shrewdly with them, or they will increase and, in the event of war, join our enemies and fight against us and escape from the land."

 

1:11 Therefore they set taskmasters over them to oppress them with forced labor. They built supply cities, Pithom and Rameses, for Pharaoh.

 

1:12 But the more they were oppressed, the more they multiplied and spread, so that the Egyptians came to dread the Israelites.

 

1:13 The Egyptians subjected the Israelites to hard servitude,

 

1:14 and made their lives bitter with hard servitude in mortar and bricks and in every kind of field labor. They were ruthless in all the tasks that they imposed on them.

 

1:15 The king of Egypt said to the Hebrew midwives, one of whom was named Shiphrah and the other Puah,

 

1:16 "When you act as midwives to the Hebrew women, and see them on the birthstool, if it is a son, kill him, but if it is a daughter, she shall live."

 

1:17 But the midwives feared God; they did not do as the king of Egypt commanded them, but they let the boys live.

 

1:18 So the king of Egypt summoned the midwives and said to them, "Why have you done this and allowed the boys to live?"

 

1:19 The midwives said to Pharaoh, "Because the Hebrew women are not like the Egyptian women, for they are vigorous and give birth before the midwife comes to them."

 

1:20 So God dealt well with the midwives, and the people multiplied and became very strong.

 

1:21 And because the midwives feared God, he gave them families.

 

1:22 Then Pharaoh commanded all his people, "Every son that is born to the Hebrews you shall throw into the Nile, but you shall let every daughter live."

 

2:1 Now a man from the house of Levi went and married a Levite woman.

 

2:2 The woman conceived and bore a son, and when she saw that he was a fine baby, she hid him three months.

 

2:3 When she could hide him no longer she got a papyrus basket for him and plastered it with bitumen and pitch; she put the child in it and placed it among the reeds on the bank of the river.

 

2:4 His sister stood at a distance, to see what would happen to him.

 

2:5 The daughter of Pharaoh came down to bathe at the river, while her attendants walked beside the river. She saw the basket among the reeds and sent her maid to bring it.

 

2:6 When she opened it, she saw the child. He was crying, and she took pity on him. "This must be one of the Hebrews' children," she said.

 

2:7 Then his sister said to Pharaoh's daughter, "Shall I go and get you a nurse from the Hebrew women to nurse the child for you?"

 

2:8Pharaoh's daughter said to her, "Yes." So the girl went and called the child's mother.

 

2:9 Pharaoh's daughter said to her, "Take this child and nurse it for me, and I will give you your wages." So the woman took the child and nursed it.

 

2:10 When the child grew up, she brought him to Pharaoh's daughter, and he became her son. She named him Moses, "because," she said, "I drew him out of the water."

 

One of my favorite episodes of the popular TV series about a fictional U.S. President and his administration—“The West Wing”—featured an episode that highlighted the incredibly astute work by an impressive cast of women in that administration. Ranging from the Press Secretary to some of the “cubicled” administrative assistants to key staffers, these brilliant women “saved the day” several times during the episode. As a celebration was taking place toward the end of the show, President Bartlet (Martin Sheen), offered a toast to “these women,” as he huddled with his male staff, most of whom owed the “winning” day to “these women.” He capped his toast by alluding to how poorly men had treated such outstanding female contributors, down through the ages. And he was right, wasn’t he?

 

I have spent much of my ministry, as a male pastor and leader, lifting up the cause of women in the pulpit, and other key places of church leadership. Our United Methodist Conference is currently being served by our second female episcopal leader, and I have served under three highly effective female district superintendents, during my 37 years in ministry. And yet, in Western Pennsylvania, women pastors STILL are shunned by a shocking number of our congregations, some of whom have been so bold as to tell their district superintendents things like, “We won’t take a woman pastor,” or “We’ve had our ‘mandatory’ woman pastor, now give us a ‘real’ pastor.” Yes, I’m not exaggerating, friends. Churches have said these things in 2026! And if you think this “odd” or “unconscionable,” please be reminded that we have not yet had a female POTUS or a female governor of the State of Pennsylvania! Fictional President Josiah Bartlet was right—we don’t treat women well at all, and it would almost seem that the more competent they are, the WORSE we treat them. Testosterone must be a horribly nasty hormone, that it causes competent males to behave like rivaled children. Unbelievable. Shouldn’t things be different in the church?

 

The Hebrew Bible is full of stories about brave women who “bucked the system” because their faith drew them to break stereotypes and bust the chops of male “leaders” driven more by braggadocio than brains. If you read our Old Testament, you will be exposed to people like Ruth, Naomi, Deborah, Esther, and Sarah, who saved the backsides of overreaching males. And while scholars generally believe this history was largely penned by men, it is important to note how these heroic stories of courageous women survived the redacting process, over the eons. Why? Well, certainly the Spirit of God had a part in making sure their efforts didn’t wind up on the proverbial “cutting room” floor, but I sincerely hope that even the male authors and editors of so much of our scriptures had to admit the essential contributions of such women that they were compelled to share their stories. “These women,” indeed. 

 

This weekend’s text I selected highlights the just disobedience of two Hebrew midwives, Shiprhah and Puah. They were told by the King of Egypt that, as they assisted in the birthing process for a Hebrew woman, if the baby was male, they were to see that it didn’t survive. It could be allowed to live, if it were a female child. You see, the King feared the growing Hebrew population, and the assumption (the same one we have today?) was that males were much more a threat to the prevailing authority than were women. Now, this demonstrates both that male leaders like the King of Egypt were as stupid as they were threatened. As we related earlier, biblical history kept the stories of how “effective” woman had been in thwarting the “bad” leadership of egotistical male leaders, so why all of the fear surrounding the MALE children? Interestingly, the king thinks he is dealing “shrewdly” with the situation when he gives the order to kill the male babies born to Hebrew women. Not only was his edict ill-advised and stupid, but it ignored the fact that women had already proved to be more strategic in their planning and bold in their actions than most of the “decorated” males ever had. Saving the female babies was no bargain for them, either historically or in the present circumstance. “These women” would eventually be their downfall, especially when God’s people Israel were concerned, or when injustices were used to bolster kingly authority. Shiphrah and Puah courageously ignored the king’s command and saved the male Hebrew babies, all the while most likely praying for the permitted female children, that they would grow to be as TRULY “shrewd” as were Shiphrah and Puah, themselves! If Israel’s survival has a “bloodline,” you can be assured that “these women” were at the top of if!

 

This text goes on next to share the story of how the young male Moses would have his life spared, again by the women involved. His mother hid him to keep him safe; the Pharoah’s daughter was used by the Spirit of God to spare his life and raise him in the ruling courts of Egypt; and his sister kept herself in the picture to watch over her brother and nurture him in the ways of Yahweh. Again, women save the day. In the case of the Pharoah’s daughter, her compassion shown through in an act of mercy and grace. Isn’t it so that God’s “irresistible” grace so often pieces together circumstances so that even “wrong” motivation leads to a benevolent and visionary end? It does in this story. Where would Israel have ever been without Moses?

 

Friends, when it comes to shrewdness, I have found women FAR more gifted than men, and partly because they HAVE to be, to get to use their gifts in what is still a largely male-driven world. Men mostly think they are in charge, or should be. Women recognize that, if they want any “say” in the future direction of any organization—from the family to the church, to the government—they will have to behave shrewdly to interject their ideas as vision. When men are in charge, they “naturally” believe their ideas are best, and will fully defer to them. Women must be far more “creative” in how they infuse their input and ideas for virtually every project, lest the men “in charge” override them. Having been blessed to work with countless gifted women in my time in ministry, I can say emphatically that their “take” on so many things is not as blatantly “warped” by testosterone or privilege as is that of us males. When I say that I have used my time to advocate for women leaders, let’s be clear: this often meant being shrewd and a bit conniving myself, using my “freely granted” male authority to open doors for women leaders, and then to “promote” them in the eyes of groups and congregations. Let me try to explain this in another way. As a generally effective male leader myself, I was given MUCH credibility and latitude by the “church population” that has come to overly respect and accept male leadership. I did my best to “trade” this somewhat automatic power granted me as a male for more opportunities for my female peers. To be honest, it was often disheartening to see how I could do something less competently than a female colleague, and yet have praise heaped on me as a male, while my female counterpart suffered undue criticism for superior performance. And those women who HAVE ascended the prejudicial steps to power (as senior pastors, superintendents, or even bishops) have continued to “take it on the chops” simply because they are women. 

 

“Shrewdness” or cunning should not have to be a prevailing “gift of the Spirit” for women leaders, just so they can lead effectively. But this is where we are right now in the church, and most certainly in our governments. Nationally, we “celebrate” women who lead well, as it defies our “group think” aspirations for them. How sad. We often “code” our praise for women leaders like our racist ways have caused us to do with Black leaders: “Oh, they are so ‘articulate,’” or “They SO exceeded our expectations!” Why? Will we see in our lifetime the END to such “qualifiers” for leaders of marginalized groups such as women and minorities? If it happens, we should thank Shiphrah and Puah of ancient Jewish history for getting the ball rolling! “These women,” indeed! Amen.

Outcasts

 

Outcasts

 

Isaiah 56:1, 6-8

A house of prayer for all people 

 

56:1 Thus says the LORD: Maintain justice, and do what is right, for soon my salvation will come and my deliverance be revealed.

 

56:6 And the foreigners who join themselves to the LORD, to minister to him, to love the name of the LORD, and to be his servants, all who keep the Sabbath, and do not profane it, and hold fast my covenant—

 

56:7 these I will bring to my holy mountain and make them joyful in my house of prayer; their burnt offerings and their sacrifices will be accepted on my altar, for my house shall be called a house of prayer for all peoples.

 

56:8 Thus says the Lord GOD, who gathers the outcasts of Israel: I will gather others to them besides those already gathered.

 

 

We are all outcasts. Some would point to the theological concept that “we are all sinners,” and it is this “sin” that makes us so. But I believe it is far more complicated than that. For God, and God’s Son Jesus Christ, forgiveness of the sins committed by the people they created, is God’s grace at work. In this message, I’ll not try to address the complicated issue of “sin” and how it may or may not “anger” God, such that God had to require a “sacrifice” for it to be “healed” or erased. We United and Global Methodists just became the latest parties to “split” over this very issue, so no single sermon, nor a lengthy theological “treatise” is adequate to address it. Suffice it to say that my own interpretation of the “sin” and “redemption” story—in good Wesleyan tradition—goes like this: whatever “sins” humanity (personal and/or corporate) commits, God in Christ is faithful and just to forgive us, and to “cleanse us from all unrighteousness,” taking us to John Wesley’s understanding of sanctification. And what is that? GET OVER IT! Go and “sin” no more! God has washed the slate clean, and through the Holy Spirit, has given us not only the ability to “get better” (right living), but to no longer have to either fret over our sins, or judge others for committing what WE may label “sin.” Don’t you wonder what ever happened to the idea of “conviction”? You know, the idea that, as the Holy Spirit works at leading us on to “perfection,” the Spirit may “convict” us of things we are doing, thinking, or allowing that are taking us away from the better way God has for us, or that are doing some harm to another. This “conviction” may be quite personal, and “custom fit” to our own lives and circumstances. Evangelist Billy Graham once said, when he was asked if smoking or drinking alcohol were “sins,” “NO, but they are sins for me.” What he was talking about was “conviction.” There may be people who could drink alcohol or smoke tobacco (or “funny” tobacco) who may not be convicted that it was a sin for them. Graham’s allusion was that for him, they were sins, but to judge others by the standard the Holy Spirit had brought into his spiritual life would be inappropriate. 

 

See how easy it is to become so “theological” about what sin IS and ISN’T? My point is that sin may be less of what makes us an “outcast” than other things in our life or our psyche. I can say from personal experience that there are very inward things that make me feel more like an “outcast,” and most of them would less be labeled “evil” than haunting or fodder for self-deprecation. It’s the inner things that may have more power over us, may be more harmful to our joy and our claim to “abundant life,” and may turn on our “blame engines,” lashing out at some nameless, faceless “evil” when it is the hurtful stirrings within our own heart doing the damage. Our “outcast-ness” comes from within, so much of the time. 

 

In my own quiet times, I think about the selfishness that has caused me to think evil of others or ignore the pain of them without lifting a finger to help. I think about the relationships that I have botched or limited in scope either because I was afraid of where they might lead, or even worse, because I didn’t see enough “value” in them for me, without thinking of the other and their needs. (As a pastor, I would often hear folk say that they didn’t come to church because it didn’t “do” anything for them, or didn’t feel it was necessary for their spiritual wellbeing. When I asked them if they ever thought about how THEIR presence might be something that could uplift or edify another person, I usually got a blank stare, indicating they really HADN’T thought about this.) In these introspective times, I may also ponder my reservations about following God’s lead to “places” to which I would not prefer to go. And then I wonder how these “checks” may have limited my own effectiveness as a Christian disciple or even as a “minister.”

 

These “skeletons” in our own “closets” are so often more of what makes us live and act like outcasts than any list of “sins” we might find in a Bible verse, or two. As the old question goes, “What keeps you up at night?” This may be something helpful to explore, and then to commit these flaws, hauntings, or fears to the true redeeming power of God. I may be condemned by my heavily “doctrinalized” friends or the ones who have more narrow ideas of “biblical authority” when I say this, but here goes: “Sin” condemns us less than WE condemn ourselves, and the true miracle of God’s redemption in Jesus Christ is that God can heal even the innermost human heart and flush out the self-condemning, self-loathing “ghosts” of our lives. It’s easy to confess lust or anger, or even indifference to the leading of the Holy Spirit, and it’s even easier for God to forgive them. It’s harder to hear Christ say, “OK, all ready, GO and SIN NO MORE.” This was not a command, but a psychological insight meant to tell the Woman at the Well that her self-condemnation was doing her more harm than her behavior. Remember, Jesus spent his whole ministry lifting up those who were downtrodden—for ANY reason—and not judging them. He reserved his “judging” statements for the religious leaders who keep score on the rules and regulations.

 

[Please note that I am not attempting to make light of behaviors or practices that we may engage in that literally harm ourselves or others. Instead, I am attempting to shine a light of insight on those things that plague far more people, and that rob us of the very kind of life that Christ came to restore. Remember what Paul wrote: “The kingdom of God is not meat or drink, but righteousness, peace, and joy.”]

 

Israel was the prototype of what God was trying to restore and rebuild on earth. An important part of this restoration project was claiming and embracing the outcasts. Be they strangers, sojourners, or the “disfellowshipped” among them, God would have no “second class citizens.” This is what this text from Isaiah says. It is such an important text that Jesus himself quoted it—especially the part about God’s house being a “house of prayer for all people.” Note the “ALL people” part. Lest you are tempted to declare me a heretic for being a “universalist,” note that great theologians down through the ages have pondered this “all people” offer of God’s. Karl Barth said that he could walk right up to the precipice of universal salvation, but could not take the leap, believing that individuals did not give up the freedom to choose, even in the face of Christ’s great “YES” to the world. Wesley believed that the all but irresistible grace of God still required a response, on our part. God IS love, but love doesn’t ram itself down humanity’s throat. Still, it is clear from the biblical witness that God wishes that “none should perish.”

 

It may actually be easier if all we had to worry about was some form of “eternal perishing,” as God could wave God’s hand and make that go away, just like God did in the Christ Event. It is SO much harder to heal the “outcasting” that is going on inside of us. We are slowly, methodically, eating away at the lifelines and bridges God is offering to us. Our devilish “unworthiness” is at the root of this destructive behavior. Religion that is built on a foundation of codifiable “do’s” and “don’ts” and claiming it as “biblical authority” is far more condemning of the rising human spirit than God is. This is why Jesus had such a hard time with the religious “leaders” of his day. Some of the are still around, it seems. Hear the words of Jesus to the Woman caught in Adultery: “Woman, who condemns you?...Neither do I condemn you.” Let’s move on. Let’s allow the Spirit to help us live better, BE better, and get better from what ails us.

 

Let us no lose sight of that “ALL people.” We are living in a time when countless Americans who consider themselves “Christian” are fully behind the heinous treatment being meted out against the “aliens” among us. They justify this validation as “keeping the law” or blaming refugees and immigrants on some unnamed evil that they actually have little to do with. No, they are not “stealing” jobs from American citizens, and no, they are not murdering people or committing crimes at some advanced rate over the “normal” population. They come seeking a safer, better life, and the opportunities our nation has traditionally offered to such sojourners. Unless you are Cherokee, Navajo, or an ancestor of one of the other numerous Native American tribes, you are here because some ancestor—distant or recent—came here also seeking a better life. They were not seen as outcasts. They were welcomed to these shores, and their opportunity to build this “better life” was not restricted by either laws or neighbors. Where have we gone wrong—especially in the household of faith? We call our worship space “sanctuary” for a reason, friends, for this is what the church has always provided for the “outcasts.” If Israel wanted to experience God’s judgment and condemnation, they treated the strangers and sojourners (immigrants and refugees) among them badly, enslaved them, or drove them out. God’s “hospitality” command was considered paramount for any people who claimed to be God’s people, and when they violated it, they themselves were driven from the promised land. What might befall us for the same sin?

 

Maybe the way we bring these two concerns together is to seek the “refugee” living inside each of us. What are the things that condemn us? That “keep us up at night”? Believe not only that God can reach there, in the silent meanderings of the heart, but also at the macro level, where our own self-condemnation gets projected on to others, alienating them, demonizing them as the “cause” for our own doubts and fears—makes them the outcasts. May the Spirit of God take us to a better place where we understand that the community of faith is to be a “house of prayer for all people,” just like Isaiah and Jesus envisioned. Amen.

Dreamer to Geriatric

 

Dreamer to Geriatric

 

Genesis 37:1-4, 12-28

Joseph sold by his brothers 

 

37:1 Jacob settled in the land where his father had lived as an alien, the land of Canaan.

 

37:2 These are the descendants of Jacob. Joseph, being seventeen years old, was shepherding the flock with his brothers; he was a helper to the sons of Bilhah and Zilpah, his father's wives, and Joseph brought a bad report of them to their father.

 

37:3 Now Israel loved Joseph more than any other of his children because he was the son of his old age, and he made him an ornamented robe.

 

37:4 But when his brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers, they hated him and could not speak peaceably to him.

 

37:12 Now his brothers went to pasture their father's flock near Shechem.

 

37:13 And Israel said to Joseph, "Are not your brothers pasturing the flock at Shechem? Come, I will send you to them." He answered, "Here I am."

 

37:14 So he said to him, "Go now, see if it is well with your brothers and with the flock, and bring word back to me. "So he sent him from the valley of Hebron. He came to Shechem, 

 

37:15 and a man found him wandering in the fields; the man asked him, "What are you seeking?"

 

37:16 "I am seeking my brothers," he said; "tell me, please, where they are pasturing the flock."

 

37:17 The man said, "They have gone away, for I heard them say, 'Let us go to Dothan.'" So Joseph went after his brothers and found them at Dothan.

 

37:18 They saw him from a distance, and before he came near to them they conspired to kill him.

 

37:19 They said to one another, "Here comes this dreamer.

 

37:20 Come now, let us kill him and throw him into one of the pits; then we shall say that a wild animal has devoured him, and we shall see what will become of his dreams."

 

37:21 But when Reuben heard it, he delivered him out of their hands, saying, "Let us not take his life."

 

37:22 Reuben said to them, "Shed no blood; throw him into this pit here in the wilderness, but lay no hand on him" --that he might rescue him out of their hand and restore him to his father.

 

37:23 So when Joseph came to his brothers, they stripped him of his robe, the ornamented robe that he wore,

 

37:24 and they took him and threw him into a pit. The pit was empty; there was no water in it.

 

37:25 Then they sat down to eat, and looking up they saw a caravan of Ishmaelites coming from Gilead, with their camels carrying gum, balm, and resin, on their way to carry it down to Egypt.

 

37:26 Then Judah said to his brothers, "What profit is it if we kill our brother and conceal his blood?

 

37:27 Come, let us sell him to the Ishmaelites and not lay our hands on him, for he is our brother, our own flesh." And his brothers agreed.

 

37:28 When some Midianite traders passed by, they drew Joseph up, lifting him out of the pit, and sold him to the Ishmaelites for twenty pieces of silver. And they took Joseph to Egypt.

 

 

It’s a timeless story, so much so, in fact, that Andrew Lloyd Webber further immortalized it in his musical, “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.” But as I’m about to turn 72 this month, what first caught my attention was the line that “Israel [Jacob] loved Joseph more…because he was the child of his old age.” While Dara and I did not start our family until later than many of our peers did, and while we weren’t “old” when our children were born, comparatively, here we are, in our 70s and with two very young grandchildren. The “young grandchildren” part is wonderful, but the fact that we ARE “old,” by biblical standards (three-score and ten), and living therefore on “borrowed” time, gets my attention anytime it comes up. Here, it comes up again.

 

When we told our friends and peers that we had put ourselves on the waiting list for Wesbury, the United Methodist-related retirement community in Meadville, PA, they balked. “You guys are too YOUNG to be going to an ‘old folks’ place!” they protested. At least one of us looks years younger than her age, and the other of us is capable of very juvenile behavior, from time to time, but we are NOT “young” by anyone’s definition. And yes, I know, “You are only as old as you feel” is a thing, but there are certain facts of human longevity that are hard to ignore. We both seem to have pretty good genes going for us, but one of us DOES take a handful of daily medications for cholesterol, blood pressure, and acid reflux, and he knows who HE is. Fact is, we are aging, and making plans for our “elder” years has always made sense, especially given that as a pastor, I have seen what happens when folks DON’T make such arrangements, and wind up in a place or a situation that they would never have desired being. Besides, our two beloved, adult children are in Alaska and Hawaii, so they are out of the picture, in terms of care-giving issues. SO, we made plans years ago that we would take care of ourselves, and promising our kids that their inheritance would amount to nothing more than the junk we must leave behind, as the cash would pay our way into senior care. Both of us were quite familiar with Wesbury, having grown up in Northwestern PA and in the Methodist/United Methodist Church. We had even visited a number of parishioners who had entered the various independent living options here, and while we looked at other “age in place” communities, they were either too remote, or well out of our more limited price range. Enough of the backstory…

 

We now reside in Thoburn Village, the preeminent independent living neighborhood of Wesbury. We have a home that is a bit larger (and more expensive) than we had originally opted for, but with a little financial “squeezing,” we can manage. It is great to have all of our maintenance and landscaping cared for, and to have a staff and neighbors who watch out for us (and each other). Our place has those “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” emergency cords at strategic places, and it is all on one level. The doors are wide enough for various mobility aides, including those cool Power Chairs that I can imagine racing around on (see aforementioned juvenile behavior comment). Now comes the rub: I really DON’T feel old, but this place forces me to confront that I AM old, as evidenced by the hairy eye I got from staff when they saw us unloading a step ladder from the moving truck. Ladders are like contraband here. Their maintenance people regularly remind us that we should call THEM for the kinds of things that I have always taken care of myself. Why? Because at my age, I’ve probably surrendered at least 20 percent of my balance. Bummer. I LIKE ladders.

 

I was doing stir fry the other night, and as a neophyte chef, am finding the transition from gas to electric range somewhat challenging. A waft more smoke, and off went the fire alarms. Now, at our townhouse, my searing and stir frying often set off our interconnected smoke alarms, and we’d just wave a magazine under the nearest sensor to stop the beeping. The warning was just to us, it didn’t connect to any emergency services. Guess what? At Wesbury, there aren’t “beeps,” but those annoying, extremely loud klaxons that sound when your stir frying sets off the detectors, and you know what else? Within five minutes, you have a man in full fire-fighting regalia standing in your kitchen with an AX! I invited him for dinner, but he had to get back to the station. Did this make me feel old? Mostly just stupid, but it’s certainly in the “aging” equation. I told our neighbors that being thorough people, we just “had to test all the systems.” They worked, by the way.

 

Last Friday night, we went to a “Hotdog and S’Mores” event at the Wesbury dog park, just down the street from Villa Sterling. As I sat there among a large crowd of independent livers, I must say it appeared to be a parallel universe. In walkers, wheel chairs, and with canes, they came, and white hair was certainly the dominant style being shown. I thought to myself, “This isn’t MY crowd, certainly?” But it was, and it is. A two-person “band” presented music, and we all knew the words to each Beatles and other popular tunes they played. All of us, and I do mean US. “This IS my crowd,” I realized, as we sang a great unison versions of “Hey Jude” and “Sweet Caroline.” I confess that I still feel “out of place,” here, and it DOES often feel like I’m in a parallel universe. It is SO easy to default to the long accepted role as “these peoples’ pastor” as an escape from the reality that I am both a peer and a “subject” of this extra-caring community. The one thing that takes me out of this mental malaise is the caliber of the people we have met here. Yes, we’re all here as part of a plan for our aging years, but NO, none of us has “given in” to being “old.” This is an educated, highly energetic, and articulate crowd—something with which I always wanted to be affiliated. We are amongst investment bankers, MANY teachers and school administrators, college professors, and medical professionals. I have enjoyed making connections and good conversation with these folk, and this gives me great hope for the future.

 

Which brings me back to “Jacob and sons,” as Lloyd-Webber wrote the tune. Jacob has been a kind of role model for me: sometimes a clever conniver, which all local pastors must be, from time to time, to either get a program passed and funded by Church Council or the fence painted at the parsonage. Jacob wrestled with God, and basically prevailed, because God cheated. What serious Christian HASN’T wrestled with God, or at least God’s Spirit, at some point? God has a nasty tendency to “call” us to do things outside our comfort zone, and yet here we are, doing it, and being blessed by it, most of the time. Jacob fell in love with a woman whose presence and beauty dominated his consciousness. So, too, have I, and what an incredible privilege it has been to share my life with her, each and every day. But above all, Jacob was a “dreamer,” who had a continuing vision for his life, his family, and certainly for what would become God’s people, Israel. The “dreamer” part he passed on to the “child of his old age,” Joseph. I’m not going to rehearse the whole story here, as most of you know it well, but the symbol of Jacob’s “dreamer” blessing he bestowed on Joseph got the poor boy in a lot of sibling issues. Of course, God the cheating wrestler, finagled a way to use what they “intended for evil” as a way to put Joseph in the catbird seat that would later save his family AND pave the way for Israel’s emergence as a great people. That symbol was the famous “technicolor dream coat,” and what a symbol it is! Like the colorful rainbow God used to promise the earth that God would never destroy the earth by flood again, according to the Genesis tale, so the colorful coat is put over the shoulders of Joseph, who then shoulders a tremendous responsibility in Egypt, as second banana to the Pharoah. Do you see all of the “poetic” tie-ins here? The coat is a symbol not just of dreaming, but of vision. The vision Joseph becomes the point person for not only rescues his family, but helps launch Israel. And his “calling” even paves the way for God’s later emancipation of Israel’s captivity FROM Egypt. When Paul wrote, “God causes all things to work together for good for those who love God and who are called according to God’s purpose,” I’m guessing he had the Joseph story in mind. Jacob and Joseph—like father, like son, truly.

 

Oh that we all might keep dreaming and vision as the “children of our old age,” instead of just back pain and sinus trouble! I believe God wants to call us to so much more, as we see time and time again in these Bible stories. Each of us must deal with the realities we have been “dealt,” I realize, but we don’t have to give in to the stereotypes of age and the erosion of our physical selves, whether it be minor or acute. The soul and its ponderings on vision—maintaining our “dream” life, for example—can be just as vital now as it ever was. It is NOT limited by chronology. To use an old Greek dichotomy, we can live in Kairos (special, or “dreaming” time), instead of succumbing to mere Chronos (“ticking” time). So, friends, what will it be? 

 

Here at Wesbury, I’m going to look for the other Jacobs with whom to have coffee and conversation with. I am already part of a Monday morning “men’s” coffee hour, wherein we are urged to avoid religion and politics as topics. (I have a problem with this, as these are ultimately the two things that have the power to bring about change and move us toward compassion and justice, but oh well…) These prohibitions nudge us to talk about other things, and that is good, I suppose. The challenge will be to help steer the group toward “visionary” things, and away from just complaining that maintenance is slow to get the garbage disposal fixed. I hope I can be a part of the kinds of conversation a “dreamer” might have. Good conversation, especially of the variety that may move us toward some benevolent and purposeful action, should be one of the “children” of our old age. So, Dear Ones, may we of greater years be “fruitful and multiply!” Amen!

My Anger vs. God's

My Anger vs. God’s

 

Psalm 145:8-9, 14-21

You open wide your hand 

 

145:8 The LORD is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.

 

145:9 The LORD is good to all, and his compassion is over all that he has made.

 

145:14 The LORD upholds all who are falling, and raises up all who are bowed down.

 

145:15 The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food in due season.

 

145:16 You open your hand, satisfying the desire of every living thing.

 

145:17 The LORD is just in all God’s ways, and kind in all God’s doings.

 

145:18 The LORD is near to all who call on God, to all who call on God in truth.

 

145:19 The LORD fulfills the desire of all who fear the divine; God also hears their cry, and saves them.

 

145:20 The LORD watches over all who love God, but all the wicked God will destroy.

 

145:21 My mouth will speak the praise of the LORD, and all flesh will bless God’s holy name forever and ever.

 

There are things that just come with getting old, I guess. Nighttime trips to the bathroom (usually more than one), waking really EARLY, even before the chickens (if I had chickens), and having a shorter fuse—at least internally—than I ever did. I can’t say that I’ve ever been a hothead; many friends would say I was more patient and tolerant than most. I have a “justice hair-trigger” when I see things that just aren’t right, though, and possibly this has been sensitized even more by my advancing years, but I do find myself getting upset at more other stuff that has less to do with justice and more to do with just-me. 

 

I get more quickly ticked at people standing in the middle of the supermarket aisle with their carts, shelf-shopping (more like gazing aimlessly?), and blocking the entire aisle for others’ safe passage. I find myself going off easily over the “idiot” drivers who believe their motorist’s rights trump all others’, especially when their indignation is manifest in aggressive, unsafe practices behind the wheel. I’m not as tolerant of screaming or shrieking children as I once was. As a pastor, because I was always thrilled to have young families in my congregations, I could preach, pray, or even lead moments of meditative “silence” in worship over even the loudest crying child, with absolutely no malice. People used to comment about this “virtue” of mine, and I used to tell them that in the Bible, the cry of a child was either a sign of great need, or a portent of unwavering hope for the future. The voice of a child in the church, whether talking loudly, shrieking, or even just asking really tough questions that sound more like riddles than inquiry, should be reasons for rejoicing in every congregation, for in so many, there are no such voices present.

 

Back to my anger…I’m not as patient with people who don’t seem to know when to put a period at the end of a very long sentence, while telling their story. As one who likes to edit, I have this secret desire to cut, paste, and delete while listening to someone tell a needlessly long story, and I’m talking about one being told verbally. My wife tells me I have begun to develop the nasty habit of showing my frustration in these settings by just suddenly jumping into the narrative in an effort to “edit” it. I think she’s right, and I’m working on that. It is most helpful that we have moved into a retirement community where all the stories are “new” to me, and I yearn to hear each of my new friends’ sharing about their life and personal history. Confession: hearing someone’s story first has made it easier to be patient with and more tolerant of them when it later emerges that their politics or theology is rather perpendicular to my own. Personal histories explain a lot of what we carry around in these regards. 

 

There is good news here, though. I am much more patient with slow-moving old people, now that I must admit I am one—not slow moving yet, but yes, OLD, at least by biblical standards. We are told our days shall be “three score and ten,” meaning I am both into the overtime period, AND starting to expect my “senior discounts,” however they may manifest themselves. Interestingly, I try so hard to not “act old,” while my lovely wife is quite content to just accept her age, and in doing so, she is probably one of the “youngest” persons I know. When you are in your 70s and yet don’t “feel” old, it is so easy to become a “poser.” It’s nice to live with someone who has no need to be one. I’m learning…

 

I could go on with the list of things that raise my ire, but the purpose of this message is to elucidate a bit on the character of the Almighty, at least according to the first verse of this weekend’s lection reading from Psalm 145: The LORD is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. 

 

Believe me, for my comfort level, God may be too “slow to anger” when it comes to the rampant and seemingly multiplying injustices unfolding around us. “If I were God,” as they say, I’d be doing a bit more smiting and going a bit easier on the mercy. I confess that upon reading of yet another new injustice—such as deporting helpless children BORN here under the 14^th Amendment or torpedoing the rights of persons of color—I wonder where God is? Does the fact that God is “slow to anger” an indication that in God’s “time,” righting such wrongs may be more than a generational thing? That in God’s restorative justice, humans must be both allowed to commit such horrible acts in order to learn—possibly over several generations—the consequences of their actions, in order to finally come to the their collective senses and RIGHT the wrongs? Do statements such as “God’s ways are not our ways” or “to God a day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years, a day” cover this? What is God waiting for? Doesn’t a “loving” God realize that people are being trampled here? GOD’S people? In the Old Testament, it seemed that when God’s people Israel misbehaved, the retribution was swift. What about Israel now, as they murder women and children in Gaza and seemingly seek to obliterate all “enemies”? Oh, here’s another characteristic of we “elderly”: we are p-r-e-t-t-y impatient!

 

I have come to accept that God’s being “slow to anger” is not a sign that God doesn’t care, or is siding with the oppressor. However, God DOES expect human beings to actually mature and learn as a people to fix many of their own problems, especially the ones THEY cause directly, such as injustice. As a teen, my parents rarely intervened when they saw me “cruisin’ for a bruisin’, as they say. It was never a sign that they didn’t care, but rather one that they were willing to forego their parental comfort in order that I may learn a “hard” lesson that had a better chance of “sticking.” When a particular lesson ended, I never, ever wondered, “Where were my parents? Don’t they CARE about me?” I understood their methodology, and as a parent myself, I also empathize with the pain they must have felt when standing back while I made bad, or at least questionable, choices. Why, then, do I have a hard time understanding God’s “slow anger”? Is this not the same thing, here?

 

That “If I were God” thing is a real problem for us. As Feuerbach once said, most of us write ourselves on the sky and call it “God.” But Yahweh is a different breed of cat. “Abounding in steadfast love” begins to give us a clue as to the nature of the God of the Bible. This is a God who cares so deeply—like a truly loving parent—that God must “step back” to allow the human race to learn, experience, and grow, even when it comes with very hard lessons. As I’ve said in many past messages, God is NOT the “genie in the lamp” who gives us what we want at our beck and call. This may be the God we WANT, but it is not who God is. God’s slowness to anger has kept humanity in the game. Remember that time when God told Moses on the mountain that God was so upset with humans that God might just wipe us out and start over with Moses and a remnant? Moses “argued” with God over this, pleading for a bit of that grace and mercy on behalf of God’s erring people, and “won” the argument…or did he? Did God set this up so that Moses might develop a loving advocacy for God’s people whom he was leading, despite their shortcomings? Maybe.

 

There is no doubt that this lectionary passage from Psalm 145 is “making nice” with God, and our understanding of God’s love, mercy, and grace. The psalmist must have been having a good day. I get tripped up on the last verse of the passage, though. What does it mean to “bless God’s holy name forever and ever”? Praise is a thing that has never been easy for me to wrap my brain around. My view of the nature of God is such that I don’t believe God “demands” or even “needs” praise, so why is it such a thing, especially in the Psalms? A good counselor will point out that “praising” another is a way of moderating ones OWN ego and affirming the positive actions or attitudes of the other, so why wouldn’t we want to praise God, accordingly. In this case (with apologies to Rick Warren), it IS about us. A good parent will tell you that they wanted most that their children would grow into a healthy, productive, and happy life, not that they would receive “praise” for their good parenting. However, I can say it was always really nice when our children DID show their appreciation for something we did for them, and our children were gracious to do so regularly, so on that level, I get it. Still, as a parent, I felt more “rewarded” for my efforts when my kids just “did well” and lived out most of our family values. In my view of the nature of God, this is the way God is, too. 

 

Perhaps the psalmist is just giving voice to the myriad reasons humans have to be grateful to the Deity? How ever one chooses to “praise” God, this author says there are ample reasons to do so. I, for one, will be working on my “fast to anger” problem, as if the Psalm 145 author is correct, it is directly opposed to the way God is. If I am to be more “Christ-like,” then slow anger, abiding patience, and merciful, “abounding” love are on the agenda. I have a whole new “congregation” and “laboratory” (the Wesbury Retirement Community) in which to explore these character goals, which is a good thing. You don’t want to mess with old people. Amen?

Holding Out for Rachel

 

Holding Out for Rachel

 

Genesis 29:15-28

Leah and Rachel, Jacob's wives 

 

29:15 Then Laban said to Jacob, "Because you are my kinsman, should you therefore serve me for nothing? Tell me, what shall your wages be?"

 

29:16 Now Laban had two daughters; the name of the elder was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel.

 

29:17 Leah's eyes were weak, but Rachel was graceful and beautiful.

 

29:18 Jacob loved Rachel, so he said, "I will serve you seven years for your younger daughter Rachel."

 

29:19 Laban said, "It is better that I give her to you than that I should give her to any other man; stay with me."

 

29:20 So Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed to him but a few days because of his love for her.

 

29:21Then Jacob said to Laban, "Give me my wife that I may go in to her, for my time is completed."

 

29:22 So Laban gathered together all the people of the place and made a feast.

 

29:23 But in the evening he took his daughter Leah and brought her to Jacob, and he went in to her.

 

29:24 (Laban gave his maid Zilpah to his daughter Leah to be her maid.)

 

29:25 When morning came, it was Leah! And Jacob said to Laban, "What is this you have done to me? Did I not serve with you for Rachel? Why then have you deceived me?"

 

29:26 Laban said, "This is not done in our country--giving the younger before the firstborn.

 

29:27 Complete the week of this one, and we will give you the other also in return for serving me another seven years."

 

29:28 Jacob did so and completed her week; then Laban gave him his daughter Rachel as a wife.

 

I don’t know if these Bible stories are historically accurate, or not, but in the words of United Methodist storyteller Michael Williams, “It ought to be!” Imagine this circumstance: a young man falls in love with a beautiful, young woman, and wants to marry her. He bargains with her old man—Laban, himself a crafty old coot—for her, offering to work for him for seven years for it, and the rest of her. Jacob—the known conniver and cheat—thinks it’s a pretty sweet deal, giving up seven years of hard labor as payment for bypassing the older daughter, Leah, which in the affairs of the day, should have first dibs. After the labor agreement has been discharged, Laban, the crafty coot, throws a wedding celebration during which I’m sure he doses Jacob with some strong drink. Jacob waits in the marriage tent for his prize, and SURprise, the next morning, he finds out his wedding night yielded him Leah, the older sister. Laban, the crafty coot, negotiates another seven years of work out of Jacob, the conniver. Once this new agreement is set, and Jake spends his “proper” first week entertaining Leah, he is then awarded Rachel, as well. Doing your father-in-law’s bidding for over 14 years seems like a steep price to pay for a first love, but for Jacob, love puts him “in for a penny, in for a pound” on the subject. Was his love really all that special? The story wants us to believe it was. Personally? I get it.

 

My spouse, Dara, is my Rachel. While I’m sure those of you who read these sermons get tired of me going on about how special my life partner is, but here we go again. You see, I dated quite a bit in high school, wanting to get to know as many young ladies as I could, and I DON’T mean in a “biblical” way! I have always enjoyed the company of the “opposite sex,” a term we should now banish, that we understand that gender/sexual orientation is on a spectrum, of sorts. Dating a number of girls was a way to both “explore” the differing personalities and interests of my female peers, as well as hear their life stories and ambitions, all of which I found most interesting. While I never had designs on becoming a clergyperson at that time at all, I should have known that something was “up,” given my interest in listening to each young woman, and in many cases, offering comfort and affirmation, where needed. And believe me, some of those girls needed it, given my finding that a number of them were brought up in far less than the best circumstances, and in their dating experiences, had discovered that many a young man had a different kind of “exploration” in mind. My “getting to know you” dating style soon meant that I could ask out almost any young woman I wanted to, since I got the reputation for being a good listener, rather than a self-centered braggart, AND I wasn’t focused entirely on winding up in the back seat of the car. Then there was Dara.

 

As I have told the story many times, we grew up in the same church. Being that she is a few years older than I, my appreciation of her in our youth group was “from afar,” as they say. (Junior high boys don’t generally attract much interest from beautiful, bright cheerleaders of the senior high variety.) I admired her for so many reasons. She WAS beautiful, which certainly catches the eye of a young man, but so much more than that, she was obviously quite intelligent, an informed conversationalist, and a person with an active, articulate faith walk with God. That was clear when our two “halves” of the youth group would share a common scripture-based devotional time to start our meetings. Dara could comment brilliantly about almost any chosen scripture, and it was clear that she really knew what she was talking about from experience. After “observing” her for those youth years, I decided her unique “archetype” of woman was what I was willing to hold out for. Her type would be my “Rachel,” but I never expected in a million years that it would actually BE Dara. (It’s a story you’ve heard before in other sermons, namely that we didn’t get together until years later, as adults, after dating mutual friends, and so forth. Next May, we will celebrate 50 years of marriage.)

 

When I say that Dara is my Rachel, what I mean is that holding out for the highest values in a “date” or the one you “get serious” about is a very important thing. AND, being that “high value” person yourself, to give of your very best to the person you will spend your life with, is just as important. Remember that ol’ Jesus chestnut, “Do unto others what you would have them do unto you”? That applies here. If you hold out for the very best possible “candidate” who checks all the boxes for you, then you darn well better be working to check all of her/his boxes, too! Marriages fail for a variety of reasons, some of them “commissions,” others “omissions,” but in many cases, just simply NO “mission,” meaning one party lost the energy to make every effort to be the very best partner—and persons—they could be, to honor and cherish their spouse. I wish I could say that I always excel in this with my Rachel, but obviously I don’t. However, I never give up trying, and I will never “settle” for less than the perfection I believe my partner deserves.

 

In the Bible story of Jacob, Leah, and Rachel, Jacob never loses his starry-eyed love of Rachel, even when it turns out that she is barren, and won’t bear his important offspring. (After all, the old boy didn’t get the title of “Father of Israel” for nothing.”) However, the “consolation prize”—Leah—is quite fertile, and able to bear many children who would someday lead tribes of God’s emerging nation. Rachel, thanks to God’s intervention (talk about fertility treatments!) led to Rachel bearing Joseph and Benjamin to Jacob. Leah’s children would be the tribal leaders, down the road, but it would be Joseph who would save the whole shootin’ match, after his brothers sold him into slavery in Egypt. In this story, I found part of my own personal story, and you might, too, if you think about it for a moment. I could have “settled down” with any of a variety of nice women I dated over the years. Several of them could have been serious candidates to “checking all the boxes” for me, had I grown impatient, or jumped the gun out of lust for either you-know-what, or security. But having observed an incredibly “complete” woman like Dara, I had a lot of boxes I wanted checked, AND had set for myself a number of “growth goals,” so I could be a good husband, a spiritual asset, and an honest, ethical, and supportive partner to a woman who would meet “my” standards. Oh, God had something to say about this, as well. As a person of faith, I prayed for my own Rachel to come along, and with God’s help, held out for that to happen. As I said earlier, I never expected that one to actually BE Dara, but when that came to pass, I had no doubt that God was in it. I’m sure Jacob felt the same way.

 

Jacob’s “wife sandwich” of Leah and Rachel brought him great honor, many children, and fulfilling life. If we can look to this as a metaphor, for a moment, what we see is that his ultimate happiness and fulfilment came from having both a “Lover” (Rachel) and a “fighter” (Leah). One stoked the romantic, intimate fires of a deep love, while the other was productive, nurturing, and dependable. So it is with the best partners for a modern marriage, although wrapped into a single person. If you marry only for love, you might find the actual “living” to be short-changed, especially if the maintenance of the romance costs more than you have in the proverbial bank. If you “settle” for one who just checks “enough” boxes, you might find yourself bored or unfulfilled WAY sooner than you might imagine. Holding out for the highest ideal is worth the wait, and the TRUST it takes in God to make the match. I know this sounds like idealism, but we’re talking life partners and spouses, here, and right now, just over 50 percent of all marriages in this nation end in divorce, so something needs to get our attention.

 

That business of needing both the “lover” and the “fighter” in a good marriage reminds me of yet another Star Trek episode from the earliest days of the series. Some kind of transporter malfunction splits Captain Kirk into his two “personality” selves. The mild-mannered, compliant, and indecisive side of Kirk’s personality emerges from the transporter, and takes up life with the crew like nothing happened. Unbeknownst to the crew, though, a few minutes after the “milquetoast” Kirk materializes and leaves the room, the “fighter” slde of his personality arrives. Both demonstrate their characteristics to the crew: the quiet, peaceful, yet indecisive Kirk makes no waves in his role as Captain of the Enterprise, but is a lousy captain, especially in the face of a sudden crisis; the “fighter” side of Kirk is a problem, too, for he goes about grabbing women, fighting with crew members, and generally being a spastic pain for all involved. Eventually, they discover the “split” and figure out a way to re-combine them in the transporter. It seems that, just like Jacob’s mild-mannered, productive Leah and his steamy first-love Rachel are both necessary to build a passionate, purposeful nation, so it is that we all do best when we find “that one” that is both lover and fighter, and who checks as many of our desired “boxes” as possible. 

 

Please hear that what I’m advocating for is holding out for the best, and not settling always for what is right before us. It is true that sometimes God DOES put what is best for us right before our eyes, and it is also true that even the best of marriages “goes South” for a variety of reasons that may have little to do with the choice we (or they) made. What I am saying is that life and our most important relationship are both too short to not give it our best, and in the beginning at least, “hold out for Rachel.” One may also apply this metaphor to other important choices or decisions we must make, as well. The more important the issue, the better it is to pray, trust God, and “hold out” for the best wisdom in making the decision, which will most decidedly lead to the best outcome. 

 

So many times when we approach these rich Bible stories, we get the most out of them when we put ourselves into the picture, “translate” the story to the circumstances in which we find ourselves, and with the help of the Holy Spirit, manufacture a lesson out of them that advances the cause of Christ AND brings us a richer fulfilment in our personal journey. Don’t waste your time by merely accepting them as historical accounts without personally “experiencing” them! The Bible is one of the richest guides one will ever find, if interpreted in this way. If you limit yourself to defending such great stories as just “historical fact” of what brought about the nation of Israel, you are in danger of settling for less than God’s best, regarding the text. Hold out for your Rachel, Beloved. Amen!