Questions V - May 12, 2016

As we continue answering some of the questions posed by members of our St. Paul's congregation during an "Ask the Pastors" Sunday a few weeks back, today we look at:

How do we use our faith in God to stay positive in the face of negative people?

This is a great question in times like these. In politics today, no matter where you turn, you will hear that people are angry. As our United Methodist denomination is holding its every-four-years General Conference, the news is that people are angry. If you have to wait in line in a store, at the pharmacy, or at the Post Office, you will observe that people seem to quickly get angry. Pessimism seems to have found its day. In fact, if one displays a cheery disposition, people may look at you like you have lost your mind, or they just assume you are on some kind of medication. Can our faith really help us deal with the negativity that seems to surround us?

First of all, let's note that not all negativity (or even anger) is symptomatic. We all have our personality quirks, and there are just some folk who tend toward being impatient, or so highly organized that they are quickly ticked-off by those who aren't. Also, some personalities just see the proverbial "glass" as "half empty." And some of these folk are people of deep, abiding faith. If you read the Gospel texts, you will see that Jesus often dealt with "glass is half empty" people--some of them in his own band of disciples--and he didn't tell them they needed to "sunny up" their disposition. Indeed, in the "Sermon on the Mount" in Matthew 5, he calls folk who do certain things, "blessed." Blessed is different than cheery. Even somber folk can be blessed.

People who perceive that life has dealt them an unfair blow can become negative, clinically. Adopting a working faith can help these persons develop an alternate view of their circumstances, and help them see that God is with them, can comfort them, and guide them in such a way that, in Paul's words in Romans 8, "...all things can work together for good..." through this transforming relationship with God. But if they are one of those born "the glass is half empty" types, even a strong faith will not make them cheery. It can give them a truer, less paranoid view of what their life is about, but they still may not win Ms. Congeniality accolades.

The original question asked how WE can stay positive in the face of negative people. This questioner appears, therefore, to be normally a "the glass is half full" person, but is finding it tough to face negative souls. I guess I see our faith as being helpful in a couple of ways. First, when we trust in God and the values we get from our faith, we are not so quickly affected by negativism. We know that we have a grace-giving God working on us, and this freely-available grace can overshadow lots of "downer dust." Secondly, the Spirit of God may give us insight into what is causing the other to be so negative, and we can be a compassionate listener. Sometimes, persons become negative because they feel no one understands them or listens to them. People of faith can become good listeners, and if we follow Jesus' example, we will not be judgmental in our listening, and especially in any insights or guidance we may offer the other. Finally, we can pray for persons we see as overly negative. Who knows, maybe they will secretly pray for us whom they see as too optimistic!

Oh, and as one who can be cynical as a way of coping with negative circumstances, and using this cynicism in an intended humorous way to "disassociate" myself from them, always remember to give the other the benefit of the doubt!