Listen...

I wish I was a better "natural" listener. As an extrovert, I talk more than I listen, and when I DO listen to another, their sharing tends to spark my brain into remembering other stories, or dredging up past things the "listenee" has told me. Now, as a trained clergy person and counselor, I generally can effectively use "active listening" skills, and have my best listening experiences during counseling sessions with parishioners when I'm putting all of my training to work, in conjunction with my "natural" love of people.

I don't know where you are with this "listening" thing, but my most spotty performance tends to be when my spouse is trying to tell me something important. In premarital counseling, I strongly urge couples to make "a thing" out of listening to each other--turning off the TV, putting down the book or smart phone, and intentionally concentrating on what the other is saying. "Physician, heal thyself," as the saying goes! Dara says that I hear well, but don't often listen. Why is it that many of us (usually the male partner) have a problem with paying attention to our significant other? Maybe it's because we figure they know we love them, having made a lifetime commitment to them, and share the same space with them? I sometimes think my brain says this means I have a level of credibility with Dara that, while I may not listen to everything she tells me, she knows I care. My brain is obviously quite flawed, at this point. Listening IS caring 101. On top of all of these dynamics, Dara is an introvert, meaning she is naturally suspicious that anyone listens to her (a fairly common paranoia of introverts). Add to this the fact that introverts tend to have a strong and continual inner dialogue--so strong that they somehow believe that you are in on it--and we have the makings of a perfect storm, communication-wise. Lately, I've been trying to really listen to Dara when she wants to talk about something important, putting down the smart phone, muting the TV, or turning down the satellite radio in the car, and concentrating only on what she is saying. It is at this point that I may nod off, fueling another "debate," shall we say.

I have come to the conclusion that God is basically an introvert. Anyone who speaks with a "still, small voice" certainly fits this bill. I wonder if God understands how hard it is for an extrovert (especially one that is about 96% on the Myers-Briggs scale) to hear, let alone listen to this kind of thing? Why is God so quiet? I guess because she/he chooses not to dominate us; instead God's presence is through the Spirit who lights paths, lures, and "entices" us in directions that benefit us and others in the wider Realm of God. God won't yell at me like my mother did when she said "Go clean your room!"

If Ash Wednesday is a time when we are beckoned to see for ourselves how dirty and messy our "room" is, then Lent may be a time to learn how to keep it clean, once it has been "redeemed." We do this, I guess, by learning to listen to God. At St. Paul's UMC, our Lenten worship theme is just that: Listen. We're exploring the ways we may hear God's voice. Some of you reading this have probably already thought: "Why doesn't he just read the Bible!?!" Good idea, but many of us never read the instructions, and don't stop to ask for directions (thank God for the GPS navigation system!). Seriously, the Bible is a source for hearing God's message to us, and it's an important one. However, the more "personal" presence of God for us--the still, small voice-- will come from other directions very often. Here's one for you: Take time just to listen for God. The meditators among us call this silence. Extroverts like me think it means there's something wrong (As a former radio and TV person in my career before ministry, dead air usually meant someone was getting fired). In God listening, though, it means opening a channel. While I've made it my practice throughout my 33 years in ministry to provide a moment of silence before leading a pastoral prayer, that has been a much tougher thing to do in my personal spiritual journey. How about you? Are you good at carving out some time to just be silent before God and the Holy Spirit to see what shakes?

The practice of silence is just one of many ways we may open ourselves to listen to God. I'll bet you have tried a few spiritual practices of your own, most likely with varying degrees of success. Why not use the season of Lent as a time to get back in touch with either our past best practices of listening, or take a a couple of new ones for a spin? And may it be a time when we celebrate God's best attempt at extroverting by sending Jesus into the world. What a risk this must have been! Introverts lose so much of their energy when they must extrovert. It's no wonder Jesus had to keep going off by himself to "recharge," and it's also no wonder why he had so much trouble being heard by his own disciples, many of whom seemed to be mouthy extroverts! (Witness Peter--blah, blah, blah; James and John--the "Sons of Thunder"; and Andrew, who didn't meet a single person he didn't drag over to meet Jesus!)

Here's to praying you have a meaningful Lenten season, friends. Keep an open mind, and possibly a closed mouth! Thankfully, God seems to love God's human creation too much to remain terminally passive when we make so much noise in the channel it threatens to drown out the message. Shalom!