Your Sphere of Consideration...

How considerate are you? Have you ever thought about that? This week at St. Paul's, as we continue our "Relate" series during Lent, we are looking at the phrase, "Love is Considerate."

What does it mean to be considerate? The dictionary says, "Careful not to cause inconvenience or hurt to others." But just how big is your sphere of consideration? Are you considerate only to someone within your family circle? Your partner or your spouse? A lot of bad parenting happens when a parent seeks to correct or discipline a child without being considerate toward them, doling out  a buck and a half of punishment for a two-bit crime, as they say. Or punishing another for some small inconsideration they manifest toward you by taking away or damaging something they hold most dear. Another bad move is believing that something you do to harm someone else is just a small offense--a minor act of being inconsiderate--when to them, it is a major infraction. If love IS considerate, does being inconsiderate send a message of non-love, waning love, or hatred? In considering "considerate," these are some of the questions we must ask.

Of course, rarely does the Bible address just our most intimate or family relationships. Given that a big part of the message of Jesus and the Gospel is about learning how to "get along" with God and others, and building genuine, compassionate community, we can deduce that the statement "love is considerate" most likely goes well beyond just our most immediate sphere of influence.

Many people err by believing that their closest friends will overlook their inconsiderations: "They know I love them!" Maybe not. Or maybe not forever. The terminally inconsiderate among us will too soon be looking up how the dictionary defines "loneliness." Even best friends expect some respect and consideration. Have you known people who seem always to be in the "hazing" mode? If they really think this is a "hoot," they may soon find themselves the only ones "hooting," while the rest of the "flock" is flying away.

Does your sphere of consideration stretch to the people around you when you are walking in public staring down at your smart phone, bumping into strangers, or just causing them to eye-roll as you boisterously blab over it to some faceless other? (I have never seen as many eye-rolls as I saw in the Schiphol Airport in Amsterdam a few years ago as an American paraded around the waiting area of our gate almost screaming into his phone, carrying on the most banal, one-sided conversation in the presence of the most uninterested audience I have ever witnessed. His sphere of consideration didn't extend beyond his nostrils.)

Does your sphere of consideration extend to the other drivers in front of or behind you? I live in Adams Ridge, a development of over 800 homes, with one road in and one road out, and a single traffic light emptying us onto Route 228, a road that will live in infamy. In the morning, when all 800 cars are trying to get out, it amazes me how many of the "front runners" don't begin to move until the light has been green long enough to cause retinal burns, and when the pace car finally DOES begin to move, several others make sure there is a safe 100-yard buffer before following suit. These people may be on their phones or psychotropic medications, but the end result is a total lack of consideration for the 795 who don't make it through the light. And at that time in the morning, the next green light happens only if it is a blood moon rising.

Being considerate is not rocket science, as they say. We're not talking a David Brainerd prayer marathon, or even an act of martyrdom here. Being considerate is just that being considerate of those around you, or those you suddenly find yourself in the midst of--"careful not to cause inconvenience or harm" to them. It's such an easy way to earn their respect, win friends, and influence people. In our time of "screw you" people skills, a considerate person may look like Mother Teresa, by comparison. Why, if the next President looks at a TV camera, smiles and says, "How are you doing tonight, America?", we'll probably begin erecting the a shiny new marble monument to her on the mall in D.C.

Jesus (you probably figured I'd get around to Jesus, didn't you?) was a considerate character. He stopped for the ill, the handicapped, the hungry, and the demon-possessed, like the guy on the phone at Schiphol. He noticed everyone around him, including the hemorrhaging woman who just flicked the fold on his tunic, and the only ones he ever said "screw you" to were the rule-keepers and the religious leaders who were about as inconsiderate as they came, in that day. He even liked tax collectors, and that is way more consideration than I could probably muster.

All sarcasm aside, the world would be a much nicer place if we took some time to examine our sphere of consideration, and then by a shear act of will, be considerate to the people in it. Being considerate does not demand a "Kumbaya" moment of any of us, just a moment of not raining on someone's parade or causing them even the simplest of harm. And if you ask yourself the religious question, "What would Jesus do?", I can pretty much guarantee that he would never flip anyone off.

Do no harm, Yinz. Peace.