Numbed

Numbed

 

Matthew 11:16-19, 25-30

The yoke of discipleship 

 

11:16 "But to what will I compare this generation? It is like children sitting in the marketplaces and calling to one another,

 

11:17 'We played the flute for you, and you did not dance; we wailed, and you did not mourn.'

 

11:18 "For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, 'He has a demon';

 

11:19 the Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, 'Look, a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!' Yet wisdom is vindicated by her deeds."

 

11:25 At that time Jesus said, "I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and the intelligent and have revealed them to infants;

 

11:26 yes, Father, for such was your gracious will.

 

11:27 All things have been handed over to me by my Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.

 

11:28 "Come to me, all you who are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.

 

11:29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

 

11:30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

 

 

'We played the flute for you, and you did not dance; we wailed, and you did not mourn,' is one of my favorite passages of the whole Bible. I’m guessing it was part of a kiddie game, or something, in Jesus’ day? Doesn’t matter. The audience is clearly NUMB to both warnings and invitations. If this was written for any generation, it would certainly apply to the current one.

 

My daughter (and now granddaughter) plays the flute. It’s a beautiful instrument that doesn’t honk or squeak, when a tone is successfully produced by the flutist. When our daughter, Shelah, first decided to try the flute, as a student at Ben Fairless Elementary School in Braddock, PA (yes, THAT Braddock, that gave rise to PA Senator John Fetterman), we signed her up for the school instrument program, and retrieved a shiny, Yamaha flute for her to learn on. Now, I did the same thing many moons ago, but with a trumpet, and I’m guessing I drove my parents crazy during the early, “honking” phase. I did eventually learn to play it pretty well, rising to first chair in our high school band. Brass instruments honk, when first played, even as clarinets and saxophones squeak, either of which grinds at the nerves of unsuspecting ears like a diamond-based, industrial abrasive can grind down steel like it is made of cheddar cheese. The flute, though, either makes NO noise, when first played, or tends to offer an early “free sample” of the inherent “tone” the flutist might carry through her or his flute “career.” I’ll never forget that first day, when after her very first lesson, our little Shelah took out her flute to play it at home. She was in living room of our Turtle Creek parsonage, and my wife and I were in the kitchen. She had figured out how to make her flute play “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star,” and that is what she played, while we eavesdropped from the adjoining room. What I heard loudly and clearly was a deep, rich, “woody” tone—the kind any flutist would covet. I said to Dara, “Oh, my! She’s got a GREAT tone!” (a brilliant observation, I know, but then I’m certainly no Leonard Bernstein). I walked into the living room where our precious little girl was proudly holding her flute. I asked her a couple of introductory questions about what she had “learned” during her first school flute lesson that day—especially how she had “figured out” Twinkle, Twinkle--and then I said something like this: “Shelah, we were listening as you played a few minutes ago. Even as a beginner, you have such BEAUTIFUL tone on this instrument. We would like to encourage you to work at it, stay with it, and perfect your ability with it, for you may have a wonderful gift.” She responded, “I WILL, Daddy!” 

 

And she did. Not only did she go on, years later, to have a flute performance minor in college (she majored in literature, which was always her first love), but she has played in churches, in the Tallahassee Winds (when she and her husband lived there), and has been a part of the incredible Christmas orchestra at Christ Church, United Methodist, in Louisville, KY. Her tone has only improved, and we have been oh so proud of her, in this. We both love to hear her play.

 

So, when I read, “We played the flute for you and you did not dance…” it invokes much sadness in me. I just can’t imagine anyone—anyone—listening to flute music and not wanting to dance, or to at least revel in the music and keep time with a tapping foot. In this expression coined by Jesus, the flute represents all that is worth celebrating and resonating rejoicingly in life. Only the most numb of folk would miss the joyous prompt. Still, all around us, I see and hear people who only know how to bitch and not praise, deprecate rather than appreciate, and reject rather than embrace. Through the best of the human expression, God is trying tirelessly to play “flute music” for us, in an effort to get us to dance a little. WAY too many sit silently, numbly, as the music plays, acting like they are tone deaf, while there are others who complain about it being “too loud.” It is my conviction that God wants less “praise” aimed at Godself, and more praise-worthy response to the music all around us. Me thinks the animal kingdom does a better job of hearing and jiving to the music than the “smartest” of us human creatures. How very sad. We even have a terribly negative phrase applied to calling someone to accountability: “Face the music.” Music should never be used as a vehicle for judgment or retribution. Music is a unique gift offered by our Creator that lights up a totally different part of the brain. Don’t denigrate it—CELEBRATE it! Jesus is imploring us to do so.

 

Then, the second half of the lyric says, “we wailed, and you did not mourn.” Life also brings things our way that should be heeded and mourned. The obvious ones are the deaths of loved ones or friends, or the loss of necessary, sustaining employment. Note something important here: we all fail, from time to time. These “failures” are NOT what Jesus is talking about here. Failure is a passage to improvement and “new beginnings,” as countless “heroes” have demonstrated. When we fail at something, and then regroup and begin again, we grow, and when the resulting success happens, we should hear the flute playing, and do a little dance. No, wailing and mourning are about the things in life that happen that we will never see again. People, for sure, but also things like the “eras” of our lives. Even when a divorce is a necessary step in a couples’ life, the proper response should be mourning. To not mourn is to be numb to the moments of shared richness that pretty much every relationship offers (exempting ones that may have degenerated into abuse). Even in marriages that go sadly sour, there were ecstatic, uplifting, and most likely exultant moments that should never be forgotten, and that will never come again. These should be mourned. 

 

Another of my “never forgets” happened when we took our “little girl” off to college. For two solid weeks after we got her situated with a remarkable roommate, I would go up to her room, sit on her now vacant bed, and just simply cry. I can never forget these important moments of mourning. I was obviously thrilled that she was now an honors student at a fine school, and situated with a wonderful roommate who would become a life-long friend (and Maid of Honor at her wedding, years later). But an “era” had passed that would never come again. No more story time before an evening prayer at bedside, no more precious little voice saying, “Goodnight, Daddy,” and no more calls from school asking me to bring her the Social Studies book she left behind while hastily exiting our home that morning. Believe me, neither was it easy to duplicate this experience when we dropped our son off at college, but at least he had chosen the SAME school as did our daughter, so parents’ weekends could be a bit of a “twofer,” but there really is nothing like that first one who “leaves the nest.” The important mourning moments of life do not have to be over “bad” experiences like a death or an unexpected diagnosis. We are numb if we have been rendered incapable of experiencing the mourning moments of stuff that has permanently changed, or an era that has passed. When we have grown numb to these moments, how will we ever find the compassion necessary to mourn alongside the larger human community—or church—when some calamity strikes?

 

The “preacher” in Ecclesiastes had it right: 

 

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

²     a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
³     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
⁴     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
⁵     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
⁶     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
⁷     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
⁸     a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

 

When we become numb to these “seasons” of life, we render ourselves incapable of things like empathy, compassion, or even companionship. The numbness is truly numbing! AND it is debilitating. Even the animals get this, and we are so the lesser when we become so desensitized. 

 

Jesus ends this discourse with the promise: “My yoke is easy and my burden is light.” He’s saying that God doesn’t expect much of us, really, but to “act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” And to dance and mourn like we are human beings, when the music plays, or the wailing begins. Being numb to these prompts is truly a “deadening” thing. Don’t die, LIVE, Beloved! Drink in the best of what life offers, even when it is a “passage” that may bring you to tears, for a time. Some like to say “Life is too short to…” (you complete the phrase). Jesus is telling us that life is just too precious to be numb to all of the experiences it offers as its greatest gift to our humanity. Don’t you think there is a REASON that God sent God’s “only begotten Son” into the world as a human being? First, to experience that which is uniquely human, and THEN to light our pathways so we wouldn’t miss the dancing and the mourning along our way. Pay attention, Beloved. The best is ALWAYS yet to come! Amen.