Off to "Conference"

For United Methodists, "Annual Conference" is a study in contrasts. The annual meeting of clergy and lay delegates (in Western PA, we hold it at historic Grove City College) has its beginnings in the days of Mr. Wesley himself. In his day, pastors (there were no lay representatives then) walked or rode in on horseback to the gathering, where much time was spent in prayer, worship, and fellowship with one another, and, of course, ordinations of new pastors occurred. Today, we motor in, park far enough away from the meeting hall that we SHOULD have brought a horse, and the meeting--while still embodying all of the above elements during its four days--now includes debates over budgets and myriad legislation. Large video screens and "rock and roll" sound systems now substitute for preachers shouting from crude platforms.

I like some of the worship, but much of it is too long. Now, I know that Christians should be willing to praise God and not be governed by the clock, but the "seat of endurance" can only handle so much, and the eclectic nature of Conference worship often juxtaposes differing expressions, images, and activities that, to me, seem forced. I guess when you only meet once a year, every group has to find a way to parade something around. Anyway, the music is stirring and the preachers--especially the guest ones such as Will Willimon--are quite good.

It is always good to see one's colleagues and friends, and our Bishop, Thomas Bickerton, always finds a way to liven things up, even during the most tedious of moments, such as during legislative debates.

What do we legislate? A few important things, such as the annual ministry budget of the organization, for example. But we sometimes we beat to death resolutions or petitions embellished with sweeping language about halting all abortions or bringing peace to the Middle East, which, honestly is mostly rhetoric forgotten beyond the doors of the meeting hall. Some folks just like to have their "day in court," so to speak, and I guess one never knows when the Spirit will show up and empower one of these paper tigers to really change the world.

Annual Conference ends with an impressive Ordination Service which has become a "command performance" for all clergy. I really like what this Bishop has done with it, but honestly, wouldn't it be really cool if we could make it three hours rather than four? I'm one of those people with a three-hour bladder, and getting up in the middle of a crowd jammed elbow to elbow, trying to slither out through tightly-packed rows, and saunter unnoticed while wearing a preaching robe and bright red stole is a challenge, to say the least. Where is Harry Potter's "invisibility cloak" when needed?

Still, we come from all over Western PA to this tiny town just off Interstate 79, to do our duty as United Methodists. We will get sunburned in long lines waiting to eat college food. We will listen as some passionate petitioner argues for yet another "special Sunday" to be added to the calendar of our churches. We will laugh together, and maybe shed a tear or two for friends remembered during the Memorial Service. And we will go home to report the happenings to our congregations, who really don't have a clue about it all. As they say, "You had to be there." Shalom, friends.